Day 6, 2019

I always look for the corners in silent places to drop my load and cry my eyes out as I tune my ears and eyes to hear the whispers of divine guidance giving me an action plan to make my next move.

Day 6: Muses

Happy Sixth Day of Thanks Everyone!

Today we give thanks for muses and the creativity they inspire to be undone and find wholeness in secret and sacred spaces of stillness. 

Many of you know that I love the gift of song and its ability to speak to the core of one’s soul.  What you may not know is that one of my all time favorite R&B (Neo Soul) artists is India.Arie. During the twenty years of her career, she has managed to write down my thoughts, feelings, and emotions as if she was living my life. Then, she had the nerve to expose all my vulnerabilities by singing the pages of my life, while strumming on her guitar. (She is just so fly!) 

As I cried my eyes out, after having my heart crushed, she reminded me that I was a BEAUTIFUL FLOWER and that I too was WORTHY.  She affirmed that I AM LIGHT and allowed me to pass that knowledge to all my friends and mini-diva mentees.  I don’t know how she knew what I was looking for in a relationship but those joints—BROWN SKIN and STEADY LOVE–hit the spot.  She tko’d me with “HE HEALS ME” as I reminisced about a past lover/friend and my secret place. 

But, my soul was truly undone at hearing these words: 

You are where I go to hide/when the wind starts to blow/when the lightning starts to strike/ when the thunder starts to roll/when this life becomes a fight/You are where I put my gloves down/ when I‘m running out of time/you are where I go to slow down… Where I go to be moved/where I go to be still…

As a single mother who holds down everything—the special needs child, the jobs, the bills,—and every day has to fight (most time for crumbs), while getting knocked down at almost every turn, in all moments, I’m running to and thirsting for an oasis in the dry dessert of my life.  I always look for the corners in silent places to drop my load and cry my eyes out as I tune my ears and eyes to hear the whispers of divine guidance giving me an action plan to make my next move.  

I wonder, how does she know how to tell my story? How does she know what it’s like to live in my truth? 

‘Cause some days I just want to run into loving arms that will share my load and help to carry some of my burden. I’ve mastered the balancing act of compartmentalizing each issue in the crevices of my brain while my heart is bleeding to beat. And I fight, with my boxing gloves never in pause, to stay alive.  But, sometimes I wish I could rest and there was no war to fight or no challenge to be conquered.  Often times, I just want to be reminded that things are gonna be alright and perhaps have that cool sip of water before I die.

Your love makes me new/In your presence I heal…No walls, no war/No cause, no weapons formed/No law, what for?/You are where I go to hide/You are where I go to heal/You are where I go to feel/to remember what is real…

Feeling wounded and like I’ve been left without a covering, I sit in that silent place repeatedly and pray a cloak of reminders over myself…that I’m loved, that I’m beautiful, that I’m worthy, that I’m allowed to feel and be real in all my dysfunctional truth.  In that silent place, I remind myself to love and choose me first (since I’ve never been taught how to do that).   There, no picking at my flaws and quirks is allowed.  Rejected are the critiques of what I’m lacking to fit into a societal standard.  No examining of anything else, I surrender. There, it’s just me—all of me–standing in my true candor.  My safe and secret place…

You are my sacred space.God is.

Today, as we give thanks for muses, think about what or maybe even who is your sacred space.  Where does your creative ability blossom at its maximum capacity? Today, I’m highlighting two organizations, Upbeat NYC (www.upbeatnyc.org) and The Lynx Project (https://www.lynxproject.org); Upbeat provides free music lessons to learn just about every instrument to over two hundred children in the South Bronx.  Please donate your money, volunteer time, instruments, sheet music and materials, and any of your skill sets to helping this organization to thrive.   The Lynx Project does the wonderful work of bringing to life the thoughts, feelings, and emotions of their autistic participants by putting them to song and giving them a voice.  It is such an amazing program! Please check out their organization, catch an event when it comes to a town near you and donate to them so they can continue their beautiful work. 

Love Ya, 

Have a Great Day of Thanks!

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