Day 23, 2019

Akintola (Great African American Men)

Author: Melissa Barber

Happy Twenty Third Day of Thanks Everyone!

There is this beautiful, dark-chocolate,  warrior man whom I know that always makes me smile deep.  (When I say beautiful, it’s really an understatement because I can’t find an equivalent word to describe the embodiment of his internal and external nature). His skin is perfectly kissed by the sun. His body is rock solid every time I see it and he stands real tall with his head up in the world. (As we say, he comes from good stock.)
His spirit is quiet, yet so strong and wisefully discerning. His approach is always gentle, kind and respectful. I’ve never seen him outwardly angry, just always relaxed and chill (seriously, zen). I think what I love the most about him is that he’s simple and so unique in that “what you see is what you get” type of way. (No flare for the dramatic, no flashy clothes or style, just simple). He consistently shows up as himself and is rock steady at specializing in him and who he is. (I love it!) 

I have never know him to be a “hoe” or heard about him “sowing his oats” to be exploitative to women or others. There are no babies or baby mama-drama that lurks in his shadow.  His presence is huge and is always felt. He has never hurt me; in fact, at some of my lowest emotional moments,  his words, which came unexpectedly, were balm that soothed and healed some of my deepest wounds. He is attentive and very observant. In his own way (and however possible),  he shows up for me and encourages me, without me asking or seeking his attention.  I thinks what drives me absolutely wild about him is that he is so intelligent and can have stimulating conscious-driven conversation with me. (I’m a sucker for a nerd any day!)

In a very uncanny way,  he’s looked through me and wasn’t afraid. He is one of the few men who has looked me directly in my eyes as I stared directly into his and said to me,  “I see you.” He’s seen my many physical phases, my frustrations, and probably knows some of my deepest flaws and hasn’t run away yet. (It doesn’t hurt that he calls me beautiful and tells me that he thinks I’m quite special too.)He listens and hears me when I speak (and even asks follow up questions). He was blown away when he found out that we shared many of the same ideals and interest. He loves music and chuckled at my jazz phase aspirations (and asked if a jazz phase was really a thing). He understands my drive and passion for community because much of it is shared.  And he is such a great person and mentor to some of the younger African American males that i know.

I don’t know if he even knows it but he is one of my anchors.  He has become one of my pillars that holds me up when I feel like letting go. 
Most importantly, he keeps my hope alive. His presence tells and shows me that there are still great black men in this world that are available, marriage material and will one day form dream teams that will build family and community, while holding down careers. 

Today, as I give thanks for great (African American) men, I ask that you tell the great men in your life, how special you think they are and how much you appreciate them.  I’d also like to highlight the organization The Cave of Adullam. It is a Transformational Training Academy (CATTA) based in Detroit Michigan where boys who are emotionally distressed, mentally discontented and spiritually in debt, gather to be trained and transformed into comprehensive men of the Most High. I fell in love with this academy when I saw one of its instructors in a Youtube video. Please donate your resources so that they can reach more young boys and teach them how to be men in the world. (Please watch this video so that you will fall in love with it too Breaking Through Emotional Barriers)

Love Ya,Have a Great Day of Thanks!

Published by: Dream Without Borders

Artist| Scientist| Creative Entrepreneur| Activist: working at intersections of arts, health, healing, and activism, my practice focuses on the performance and performative articulations of vulnerable bodies, exploring and examining expressions of identity and belonging. I hold particular interest in the lives and aspirations of the African Diaspora/Black Atlantic in the twentieth and twenty-first centuries.

Categories Melissa's 2019, Melissa's Thanks, Notes From The People